| im GLAD |
[18 May 2005|12:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 good |
] |
he's back!
ok lah im hapi, coz he's safely hm, dat is
he touched down at 7+am on sunday morn` n called me twice at 10am wen im still asleep
so he called again at 11am, i was half awake, bt still tossin n turnin in bed
so i answered d fon, wid my sleepy voice n was greeted wid a loud 'HELLO!! GD MORN'!!'
i cannot fall back to slip aft dat
so we mit up at ard 7pm to hv dinner tgdr wid aishah n amri
at Ambrosia, wer we 'bumped' into rye n frenz
hah!!
it was a nice outin, i muz sae
he started tellin me all abt Brunei, n i jz listened n let him talk
it was nice to jz c him talk so much aft so long
for d 1st time, seriously, der was no weirdness, awkwardness or butterflies
i was so at ease, i don even noe hw to begin describing it
i gez iam +vely sure dat iam so comfortable d way we r nw
no strings attached, no promises, no 'mkn2 hati' anymore
ahakz!
dis is obviously d best for us
n i believe dat wen u fail at smtg, GOD is jz tryin to tell u to tk a diff direction altgdr
so we r takin a diff route nw, stayin frenz, n will alwayz b
which has proved to b at d best interest 4 d both of us
wen 1 door closes, another 1 opens
im js glad. ;-)
|
|
| blah |
[13 May 2005|04:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sore |
] |
iam officially jobless, all over again, as of todae
bleargh
i wont expect d col, alto i wan it to happen so much
coz i tink d more u expect smtg to happen, d more disappointed u'll b
my prinsip in life is.. 'do nt expect! if it happens, it happens.'
so if d fon rings n d no. pops up wid d gd news dat iam selected, i'll b GLAD
i noe i shd b lookin for a REAL job
dats wat my sis has been tellin me
ok lah i noe wat she meant by a real job
sumplz wer i cn c myself stayin for long
n dat seriously gt me tinkin...
n nw im scared. reli scared. :-(
|
|
| the women have it better |
[12 May 2005|01:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
'The women have it better..'
While we may think men have it easier after a break-up, research shows that they may actually suffer more. When men are in intimate relationships, they open up their innermost and repressed emotions, and when they're going through a break-up, they tend to hide their pain, which can lead to physical breakdown (migraine, fatigue, etc,). Women, on d other hand, often share their suffering and surround themselves with friends and family to help them through, making the difficult time easier to get through.
i find dis SO true. so yeah.....
|
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| u neva noe wat u gt till itz gone |
[08 May 2005|01:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
iam super depressed ar
1 reason to b smiling abt..
was wen my beloved gfs remembered d dae im startin dis new job n was bz askin me hw did my 1st dae went n all
itz alwayz nice wen frenz tk time to remember small lil tings like dis which neva fails to mk me smile
takes off a lil bit of d sadness, even for a while
1 mmt i was so excited to b startin wk at Indivi, n cant wait to leave Evita..
BUT onli to b disappointed?
wen i start wk on thurs, dat klasmate of mine, d trainee manager at Indivi, broke d news to me abt d 'commission rate' der
n i remembered hw shock i was, which was quite humourous wen i tink back
we cd even laugh at it nw. hah!
so d deal is..
iam gona b bringin hm jz my basic coz itz fuckin hard to hit d sales tgt at dat damn plc, so means 0 comm.
dat klasmate of mine hv been der for 6 mths, as trainee manager (may i repeat), n she neva brought hm any comm dis whole time, onli her damn basic, -CPF of coz (she brought hm abt 1.2k a mth?)
so she totally understand y i wasnt gona stay
so im gona b bringin hm less dan 1k a mth, which is super rubbish, n im nt use to bringin hm dat kinda amt
i cd bring hm abt 1.2k at Evita a mth, jz as a damn promoter
bt at dis damn plc, as a trainee supervisor, i will b bringin hm less dan 1k?
so iam nt gona waste my time, or theirs, any longer
so on thurs itself i tendered. haha
bt since i had oredi signed d damn apptmt letter, i nid to serve at least a week notice
so deal.
1 week starting 5th, my last dae is next thurs-12th
pathetic huh?
i was so ghairah to leave Evita coz i tot i cn earn more at dat damn plc, since d plc is considered 'high end'
bullshit ar!
so nw i hv nobody to blame bt myself, for nt doin enuff research b4 startin a new job n gettin all excited for no reason
oh well.. u neva noe wat u gt till itz gone.
ahakzz!!
bt i do believe tings r d way dey r for a reason. d signs r everywer. sumtimes we jz refuse to look.
so open up ur eyes AYU!!
|
|
| bye bye Evita |
[01 May 2005|11:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
relaxed |
] |
yest was my last dae wid Evita
n worst was wen zahida gt a transfer to suntec startin todae
so yest was quite an emotional dae for d both of us
im nt suppose to stop wkg till d 4th, bt i gt to offset my PH claim n gt an early leave
which means i hv a long rest b4 i start my new job at Indivi on d 5th!
zahida's case was worst cos she wasnt expectin a transfer to suntec, so she was upset, veri
alto itz onli been 3 mths+ im in Tangs, i tink im gona miz bein der..
- d grouchy aunties,
- d irritating security,
- d mentel abg2 despatch/delivery,
- d horrible makcik food at d canteen,
- n d staff lounge esp, wer we spent most of our time sleeping
nw.. itz like 1 by 1, d gerlz all slowly, tk turns, to leave Tangs
haha itz reli weird, bt we r all still veri much in contact wid each other
i hope my 1st dae at Indivi will go well, noein d fact dat i'll b wkg wid a klasmate
duno if i shd b hapi or glad
bt i wont tink so much n gt all worried for no reason
alwayz look on d brighter side ayu, alwayz.
c'',)
|
|
| gonna miss him |
[28 Apr 2005|12:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hopeful |
] |
neva tot i cd shed another tear for him
wasnt expecting i wd tk it dis way, bt ive been cryin a lot since yest
he's leaving for brunei in a few mins time
for 3 weeks, will b back on d 15th
wen was d last time i cried for him?
mths back sakk
n yest while hvin my brk at CK canteen, i jz broke down
i was jz tinkin abt tings n started to feel my eyes watery
den tears jz flowed n it wont stop once it starts
so i did nt finish eating, quickly ran to d washrm n dry my tears
bt dat didnt help, coz i continued cryin in d cubicle
he asked me to supper on mon nite, bt i wasnt feelin dat well, bt i told him i wd mk an exception
so we decided to mk it at 12am bt den i felt so weak n tired dat i told him we cd mk it d next dae instead
he gt a bit mad bt i managed to 'pujuk' him
den worst is wen he came over my plc yest at 2am w/o tellin me b4hand, he tot i'd b awake still, bt im oredi asleep, so soundly, dat i didnt feel my fon vibrating beside me
i woke up dis morn` jz to b greeted wid missed calls n a msg..'im under ur blk, bt gez ur asleep. im off..'.
like y cldnt he tell me he'll b dropping by?
i swear i wd stay up
i was so mad bt i cldnt bring myself to blame him any further coz he made d effort
bt gawd!!
me: 'y do u hv to surprise me like dat at d wrong time? do u noe hw much i wana c u?'
n yahh, i do wana c him.. badly.
i gt so sad tinkin of so many tings:
- of hw we were wasting d past crucial daes debatin n arguin abt tings, instead of bein nice n treasurin d last few mmts
- of hw he was makin d effort to mit up b4 leaving, which did nt happen
- of all d msgs he sends, gd or bad
i wont tink so much coz itz onli 3 weeks, n 15th will cum soon enuff
i'll jz pray for his safe trip n safe return, dat is all i wan
he told me he brought my photos along to brunei
dats 1 reason to b smilin, coz i noe he'll b tinkin of me jz as im tinkin of him
another reason to b smiling abt is d msg he sends to zahida.. 'kip ayu hapi at wk for me. thx..'
n zahida goes.. 'ayu.. u noe he cares.. u noe it..'
im smiling nw, n im nt stopping...
|
|
| no more. |
[22 Apr 2005|12:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
listless |
] |
i had a major blow up on wed
zahidah was der to witness it all
no other single person has been more disrespectful to me dan he has.
n dat was d final straw. FINAL.
GOD.. gimme strength.
|
|
| blahhhh |
[19 Apr 2005|12:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
itz my off dae n i kinda waste it in bed
i woke up SUPER late, coz it was rainin, n dats d more reason 2 still stay in bed rite? ahakz!
wen i woke up, i was greeted wid dis msg which was send to me reli early in d morn`, ard 7.26am..
him: we're both adults rite, so we shldnt tink abt it, we've known each other for so long, n shldnt spoil it wid wat we had dat short time. gd morn`..
me: don gimme dis kinda msgs anymore n try tellin me wat to do. im big enuff to tink for myself. i noe watever i do is for my gd n i don give a shit abt other ppl. Bye.
him: hmmm.. wats wrong wid u? insensitive.
me: dis will b my last msg k. don waste ur time, coz seriously i wont waste mine. tk cr in brunei.
him: huh? i don understand. i gez u woke up at d wrong side of d bed. u tk cr too den.
tk biadap tu? tapi kadang2 kelakar jugak ar kn dier nyer reply. bodoh!!
iam so shuttin him outta my life ar. i had to do it. i had to. i had to!
|
|
| decisions.. decisions.. decisions.. |
[16 Apr 2005|01:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pensive |
] |
had an awesome time at sentosa wid d Tangs gerlz yest!
it was my dae off, as well as sarina's, so we decided to go gt sum tan
den d other 4 gerlz membontot - noor, fitriah, hamidah n zahidah
zahidah, my beloved colleague at EP, took MC jz so she cd join us yest, wen she was suppose to wk full shift
giler ar itu pompan sanggup amik MC sumer, coz she gt soooo jeles noein we're goin w/o her
so our EP counter was empty on thurs, for d 1st time. ahakz!!
den wen i came back to wk todae, ppl ard were askin.. 'eh y ur counter empty ar yest..?'
hhahahahaa!
i hvnt had dat much fun in a while, n it was a well deserved brk, 4 me, at least
we were d loudest der, laughin hysterically at each other's stoopid antics
playin our own so-called 'water sports', so mrepek bt farkin funnie!
den i was FORCED to sing for dem, coz for sum stoopid reasons dey adore my voice (ok wadever)
den ders dis part wer we took turns to tell each other our ghostly encounters
bt i decided we shd stop sumwer since sentosa is nt dat 'clean' itself
d best part is wen all 6 gerlz were standing in a str. line in d toilet, facin d mirror, n dancin to 'oye mi canto', while puttin on our make up
everybody movin to d same raggae style, it was madness!
ya i noe.. sungguh kental ppl may sae, bt i don care!
coz it was so much fun ar!
gona mit noor n sarina again tmr for flea mkt
n i will so bug zahidah to cabot again n join us (evil me)
farid wans to mit up tmr too, bt i cldnt b bothered, seriously
been wanting to mit up since tues bt i didnt layan
shd i or shd i nt mit him..........?
decisions.. decisions.. decisions..
|
|
| d OC is back yawwww!! |
[08 Apr 2005|12:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 quixotic |
] |
rushed hm for d OC
n was super glad i was in time for it
aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
thurs is nw my official fav dae of d week coz of d OC
n sumhw i so luv dis particular line summer said to seth..
'it seems u alwayz wan me wen u cant hv me..'
n so in my head i continued sayin.. 'n u don wan me wen u had me..?'
aint dat funnie hw bizarrely true dat line is?
n summer n seth r soooooo engaged in real life siol.
damnit!!
anywayzzz..
iam reli hapi coz ive finally purchased my DKNY-Be Delicious perfume todae!
i freaked out wen i was told dat d 100ml dat i wanted was sold out onli aft 4 daes of d launch
all d 15000 sold out?
so i like begged d kakak to find me jz 1 more 100ml bottle, which she eventually did
it cums tgdr wid d small 10ml miniature, body lotion, a shampoo n 2 green apples (my fav fruit!)
n i gt an additional 20% off as staff purchase
sungguh seronok!
|
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| lonely |
[06 Apr 2005|05:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
mellow |
] |
'ur my biggest problem..'
'dude.. ur my BIGGEST MISTAKE..'. HUGE. period.
'n ouh.. dis song is so.. for u.. enjoy..'
----------------------------------------------------------------
Artist : Akon
Song : Lonely
Lonely im so lonely,
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely, im mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely,
Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there man ya kno dey got that one good girl whose always been there like ya
Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave
I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was
Feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz
Ever since my girl left me, my whole life came crashin
Im so lonely (so lonely),
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuck
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, I
Really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody to call my own)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely
So lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girrll
Never thought that id be alone, I didnt think you'd be gone this long, I jus want you to call my phone, so stop playing girl and
Come on home (come on home), baby girl I didn't mean to shout, I want me and you to work it out, I never wished to ever
Hurt my baby, and its drivin me crazy cuz...
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girll
Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, so lonely, (so lonely), Mr. Lonely
|
|
| wwwweeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! |
[31 Mar 2005|02:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
Hapi B'dae fanabelle!!
may u stay hapi wid fafan boi n cant wait 4 d chalet dis sat!!
also belated bdae to zali, matty n fiza - on d 24th, 26th n 27th respectively.
n hapi advanced bdae to zahidah darlin' a.k.a Miss Mocha (if ur readin dis) - aper kau nk dis yr..? don sae irwan eh!! haha!
|
|
| kenaper..??!!! |
[28 Mar 2005|12:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
i was der to witness d accident dat took plc on fri aft
abt d future groom dat gt hit bt d train at Buona Vista stn
i was 1 of d passengers in dat unlucky train
n i swear i 'dah mcm trauma' nk tk train nw ok
i remembered goin to wk lookin pale
n my head was askin me stoopid qns like.. 'y cant dis happen aft dis train im in left?!'
coz seriously, doesnt he noe dat ders a train cumin wen he went down to gt his shoe?!!!
bt den again, like my mom said, dats jz an 'excuse' 4 him to die dat way, dat day
d worst ting is.. he's goin to nikah in 2 weeks time seh.....
so i ended up turnin up 4 wk late coz we're kept in d train 4 abt 15 mins
wid no air-con, thk u
den everybody started callin whoever it is dat dey wana tell dis horrified news to
i called hm, n i feel like a little gerl all over again dat nids embracing fr her mom in times like dis
den i called zahidah to punch my card 4 me, n of coz let her noe of my situasi
u'll neva noe wen accidents cn happen ar
it cn jz hit u anywer, anitime
even wen u least expect it
scary.
|
|
| ...n so d story goes... |
[23 Mar 2005|12:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
good |
] |
so i told erd, rkl, n rye abt d 'stoopid proposal' tingy
itz fuckin embarrassing actually n i wasnt sure if i shd let any of my gerlz noe abt it coz i noe dey'll laugh at me
(bcoz itz reli mrepek lorr!)
n itz horrible wen ur frenz laughed at u abt tings
Aaaarrghh!!!
anywayzzz...
i hope ryehan will b ok soon enuff
itz reli sad to c u in dis state babe
jz remember we all cr n luv u
hang on in der
n ouh!
zali d bestfren called jz nw!
n at d same time matty msged to tanyer kabar
sungguh rindu at d 2 botakz!!
zali is sick n was complainin abt life in der
baru 2 minggu dah nk complain. haha!!
n matty mcm nk mati rindu gf, sooooo swittt
n sumhw, i gt flashback wen i was in d respective gf's position, back den
d rindu is indescribable n im nt exaggerating, at all
u'll b waitin 4 nitetime to cum coz den u'll gt to hear their voices all over again
every single dae, w/o fail, dey'll col
n don mention d book out dae, u'll so b excited dat u wldnt slip well. haha!
n sumtimes u jz miz dem so much dat u cn jz cry
ok lah, dats me, at least
yeahhh.....
zali's n matty's bdae is cumin real soon!
dey're both equally hapi dat dey'll gt to book out dis thurs so dey cn celebrate wid gfs
aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ok gota turn in nw
tmr full shift, again
bleargghhhhh!
|
|
| ku keliru! |
[20 Mar 2005|01:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
ditzy |
] |
yest at wk..
him: 'hmm... i miz u...'
me: 'hmm.. i miz u too, bt gez wat?.................'
so i told him d news, reli glad dat i did actually
he didnt tk it too well tho
he said..'i was shocked.. jeles in a way..'
n i felt so darn gd dat i cn jz kiss myself
he said he hope i wasnt lyin
den i said..'wd i b so pathetic as to mk smtg like dis up..?'
den he went *speechless*
i told him nt to tink abt it coz itz nutin reli (n seriously, it is nutin lor!)
him: 'hw cn u sae itz nutin?! i feel smtg which im nt suppose to express to u..'
like WTF?
me: 'pls jz sae watever u wana sae. itz nt as if we hvnt noe each other oredi..'
him: 'im nt in d position to sae dis kinda stuffs to u anymore..'
me: 'watever lah eh. bye.'
him: 'col me if ur free'
me: 'tk free ar. bye!'
him: 'thanks.'
i enjoy our conversation like dis ar, don ask me y, i jz do
den later in d nite..
him: 'don nid to argue, col me..'
me: 'ouh u mean if col, ders a slimmer chance we wont b argue-in? itz ok lah eh, lets jz save ourselves d misery. gd nite..'
him: im tokin 2 u nicely seh. if u care, col k. fuck it if u don. dat simple..'
den i silent my fon n went to slip.
|
|
| BOO |
[20 Mar 2005|01:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sore |
] |
a chg cd reli do u gd lah, ma` fren
seriously.
|
|
| robbers go to hell!! haha |
[08 Mar 2005|12:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
aggravated |
] |
im so fuckin mad ar!!
my shoe was stolen ok!
my fav new shoe i gt for wk was stolen!
fuck dat Tangs staff who did dis ar!!
kaninabuayyy!!!
my 'nice' manager gave me dis Novo shoe for wk
n i was super2 hapi coz i wanted to buy dat shoe at 1st
bt wen she told me i cn gt it for free as pt of my uniform, i was esctatic!
i wore it ONLI TWICE, den on sun, wen i go to wk, itz gone!!!!!
i had nobody to blame bt my stoopid self
kenaper lah aku bodoh pegi tinggalkn kasot baru cam gitu pat keje eh?
kenaper bodoh ayu?!!
yeahh.. all dis qns were running thr my head n i hv onli myself to blame
my dearest frenz at wk helped me search high n low for d shoe bt to no avail
den dey join me wid all d cursing.. 'biar org yg curi kasot kau tu kene langgar lori tros kodong kaki dier eh!!'
haha dats so mrepek bt it helped a bit at dat pt of time
i was such in a foul mood dat sun dat i feel goin hm
bt wid d comfort of d gerlz, i calm down a bit
Aaargghhh!! jz tinkin of it nw makes 'my blood go to my head'!
if old shoe nvm sakkk, nie new shoe sial!! wore onli 2 times!!
i cn jz go on n on abt dis coz im still pissed, seriously!!
MY FAV SHOE SIAL!
ok ayu.. 'itz jz nt meant to b urs in d 1st plz.. so gt over it!!'
on a lighter note..
met up wid Hafiz Pinholes yest aft wk
n poor him, gota listen to my whinings
bt he's a gd listener so i don mind complainin ar
he ask me to buy a new pair
tink i shd oso, coz if my manager drop by n c me w/o d shoe, she's gona flip
so nw i ended up payin for it instead.. 'MAKAN HATI' sakkk!!
AaaaarrrrgggghhhhHH bodohh!!!!
|
|
| Life is BeautifuL |
[03 Mar 2005|12:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
grateful |
] |
gt hm fr wk to b greeted wid a reli hapi hapi news
den i went to my rm n started cryin
tears of joy, dat is
im jz so overjoyed n it md me emotional
cant wait to spread d news
coz gd news r suppose to b shared, rite?
c'',)
|
|
| we'll gt thr dis tgdr |
[01 Mar 2005|12:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pleased |
] |
JJ won d Manhunt search! woohoo!!
ok lah im a bit late
i luv JJ bt i wanted Rob to win instead, coz his spirit is stronger dan JJ's, n he looks like he wanted dis more, bt wad d heck, JJ's HOTTER!
met up wid raaks yest
i had fun, seriously
n rkl, bein rkl, tried to irritate me by sayin.. 'heii itz us again..' haha!
n onli me, will gt dat. damnit.
went to Ambrosia
had d 16 bux sheisha, yes
bt no complaints watsoever coz it was guuuuddddd
n we gt sum complimentary food fr d nice ppl der
so we made a promise to go der every week! haha
glad dat we had d tok yest kel
was shocked to hear wat u gota sae, n i reli feel u
bt watever it is u decide to do, u noe we'll all b behind u
jz stop pressurizin urself coz for goodness sake! UR ONLI 20!
n u don wana hv so many worries at 20!!
n ouh! jz to add..
Sarah Sechan went to Tangs yest! (sorie lah, bt i like her so im a bit excited!)
me n d Tangs gerlz took a pic wid her!
she was as small as me n she was so nice n funnie lah!
she was wid her baby, sooo kiut (i duno she had a baby seh)
ok im in lurve wid Peter Pan's frontman - Adil izit d name?
watever d name is lah eh
haha
dahhhhhhhhhh
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