ayu_mee

im GLAD

Tue, 17 May 2005 16:34:36 GMT

he's back!
ok lah im hapi, coz he's safely hm, dat is

he touched down at 7+am on sunday morn` n called me twice at 10am wen im still asleep
so he called again at 11am, i was half awake, bt still tossin n turnin in bed
so i answered d fon, wid my sleepy voice n was greeted wid a loud 'HELLO!! GD MORN'!!'
i cannot fall back to slip aft dat

so we mit up at ard 7pm to hv dinner tgdr wid aishah n amri
at Ambrosia, wer we 'bumped' into rye n frenz
hah!!

it was a nice outin, i muz sae
he started tellin me all abt Brunei, n i jz listened n let him talk
it was nice to jz c him talk so much aft so long
for d 1st time, seriously, der was no weirdness, awkwardness or butterflies
i was so at ease, i don even noe hw to begin describing it

i gez iam +vely sure dat iam so comfortable d way we r nw
no strings attached, no promises, no 'mkn2 hati' anymore
ahakz!

dis is obviously d best for us
n i believe dat wen u fail at smtg, GOD is jz tryin to tell u to tk a diff direction altgdr
so we r takin a diff route nw, stayin frenz, n will alwayz b
which has proved to b at d best interest 4 d both of us

wen 1 door closes, another 1 opens
im js glad. ;-)

blah

Fri, 13 May 2005 08:04:40 GMT

iam officially jobless, all over again, as of todae
bleargh

i wont expect d col, alto i wan it to happen so much
coz i tink d more u expect smtg to happen, d more disappointed u'll b
my prinsip in life is.. 'do nt expect! if it happens, it happens.'
so if d fon rings n d no. pops up wid d gd news dat iam selected, i'll b GLAD

i noe i shd b lookin for a REAL job
dats wat my sis has been tellin me
ok lah i noe wat she meant by a real job
sumplz wer i cn c myself stayin for long
n dat seriously gt me tinkin...

n nw im scared. reli scared. :-(

the women have it better

Wed, 11 May 2005 17:37:05 GMT

'The women have it better..'

While we may think men have it easier after a break-up, research shows that they may actually suffer more. When men are in intimate relationships, they open up their innermost and repressed emotions, and when they're going through a break-up, they tend to hide their pain, which can lead to physical breakdown (migraine, fatigue, etc,). Women, on d other hand, often share their suffering and surround themselves with friends and family to help them through, making the difficult time easier to get through.

i find dis SO true. so yeah.....

u neva noe wat u gt till itz gone

Sat, 07 May 2005 17:38:43 GMT

iam super depressed ar

1 reason to b smiling abt..
was wen my beloved gfs remembered d dae im startin dis new job n was bz askin me hw did my 1st dae went n all
itz alwayz nice wen frenz tk time to remember small lil tings like dis which neva fails to mk me smile
takes off a lil bit of d sadness, even for a while

1 mmt i was so excited to b startin wk at Indivi, n cant wait to leave Evita..
BUT onli to b disappointed?

wen i start wk on thurs, dat klasmate of mine, d trainee manager at Indivi, broke d news to me abt d 'commission rate' der
n i remembered hw shock i was, which was quite humourous wen i tink back
we cd even laugh at it nw. hah!

so d deal is..
iam gona b bringin hm jz my basic coz itz fuckin hard to hit d sales tgt at dat damn plc, so means 0 comm.
dat klasmate of mine hv been der for 6 mths, as trainee manager (may i repeat), n she neva brought hm any comm dis whole time, onli her damn basic, -CPF of coz (she brought hm abt 1.2k a mth?)
so she totally understand y i wasnt gona stay
so im gona b bringin hm less dan 1k a mth, which is super rubbish, n im nt use to bringin hm dat kinda amt
i cd bring hm abt 1.2k at Evita a mth, jz as a damn promoter
bt at dis damn plc, as a trainee supervisor, i will b bringin hm less dan 1k?
so iam nt gona waste my time, or theirs, any longer
so on thurs itself i tendered. haha
bt since i had oredi signed d damn apptmt letter, i nid to serve at least a week notice
so deal.

1 week starting 5th, my last dae is next thurs-12th

pathetic huh?

i was so ghairah to leave Evita coz i tot i cn earn more at dat damn plc, since d plc is considered 'high end'
bullshit ar!

so nw i hv nobody to blame bt myself, for nt doin enuff research b4 startin a new job n gettin all excited for no reason
oh well.. u neva noe wat u gt till itz gone.
ahakzz!!

bt i do believe tings r d way dey r for a reason. d signs r everywer. sumtimes we jz refuse to look.

so open up ur eyes AYU!!

bye bye Evita

Sun, 01 May 2005 15:51:51 GMT

yest was my last dae wid Evita
n worst was wen zahida gt a transfer to suntec startin todae
so yest was quite an emotional dae for d both of us

im nt suppose to stop wkg till d 4th, bt i gt to offset my PH claim n gt an early leave
which means i hv a long rest b4 i start my new job at Indivi on d 5th!
zahida's case was worst cos she wasnt expectin a transfer to suntec, so she was upset, veri
alto itz onli been 3 mths+ im in Tangs, i tink im gona miz bein der..
- d grouchy aunties,
- d irritating security,
- d mentel abg2 despatch/delivery,
- d horrible makcik food at d canteen,
- n d staff lounge esp, wer we spent most of our time sleeping
nw.. itz like 1 by 1, d gerlz all slowly, tk turns, to leave Tangs
haha itz reli weird, bt we r all still veri much in contact wid each other

i hope my 1st dae at Indivi will go well, noein d fact dat i'll b wkg wid a klasmate
duno if i shd b hapi or glad
bt i wont tink so much n gt all worried for no reason
alwayz look on d brighter side ayu, alwayz.

c'',)

gonna miss him

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 16:01:35 GMT

neva tot i cd shed another tear for him

wasnt expecting i wd tk it dis way, bt ive been cryin a lot since yest
he's leaving for brunei in a few mins time
for 3 weeks, will b back on d 15th

wen was d last time i cried for him?
mths back sakk
n yest while hvin my brk at CK canteen, i jz broke down
i was jz tinkin abt tings n started to feel my eyes watery
den tears jz flowed n it wont stop once it starts
so i did nt finish eating, quickly ran to d washrm n dry my tears
bt dat didnt help, coz i continued cryin in d cubicle

he asked me to supper on mon nite, bt i wasnt feelin dat well, bt i told him i wd mk an exception
so we decided to mk it at 12am bt den i felt so weak n tired dat i told him we cd mk it d next dae instead
he gt a bit mad bt i managed to 'pujuk' him
den worst is wen he came over my plc yest at 2am w/o tellin me b4hand, he tot i'd b awake still, bt im oredi asleep, so soundly, dat i didnt feel my fon vibrating beside me
i woke up dis morn` jz to b greeted wid missed calls n a msg..'im under ur blk, bt gez ur asleep. im off..'.
like y cldnt he tell me he'll b dropping by?
i swear i wd stay up
i was so mad bt i cldnt bring myself to blame him any further coz he made d effort
bt gawd!!
me: 'y do u hv to surprise me like dat at d wrong time? do u noe hw much i wana c u?'
n yahh, i do wana c him.. badly.

i gt so sad tinkin of so many tings:
- of hw we were wasting d past crucial daes debatin n arguin abt tings, instead of bein nice n treasurin d last few mmts
- of hw he was makin d effort to mit up b4 leaving, which did nt happen
- of all d msgs he sends, gd or bad

i wont tink so much coz itz onli 3 weeks, n 15th will cum soon enuff
i'll jz pray for his safe trip n safe return, dat is all i wan

he told me he brought my photos along to brunei
dats 1 reason to b smilin, coz i noe he'll b tinkin of me jz as im tinkin of him
another reason to b smiling abt is d msg he sends to zahida.. 'kip ayu hapi at wk for me. thx..'
n zahida goes.. 'ayu.. u noe he cares.. u noe it..'

im smiling nw, n im nt stopping...

no more.

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 04:59:17 GMT

i had a major blow up on wed
zahidah was der to witness it all
no other single person has been more disrespectful to me dan he has.
n dat was d final straw. FINAL.

GOD.. gimme strength.

blahhhh

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 16:01:56 GMT

itz my off dae n i kinda waste it in bed
i woke up SUPER late, coz it was rainin, n dats d more reason 2 still stay in bed rite? ahakz!
wen i woke up, i was greeted wid dis msg which was send to me reli early in d morn`, ard 7.26am..
him: we're both adults rite, so we shldnt tink abt it, we've known each other for so long, n shldnt spoil it wid wat we had dat short time. gd morn`..
me: don gimme dis kinda msgs anymore n try tellin me wat to do. im big enuff to tink for myself. i noe watever i do is for my gd n i don give a shit abt other ppl. Bye.
him: hmmm.. wats wrong wid u? insensitive.
me: dis will b my last msg k. don waste ur time, coz seriously i wont waste mine. tk cr in brunei.
him: huh? i don understand. i gez u woke up at d wrong side of d bed. u tk cr too den.

tk biadap tu? tapi kadang2 kelakar jugak ar kn dier nyer reply. bodoh!!

iam so shuttin him outta my life ar. i had to do it. i had to. i had to!

itz beta to lose a lover, dan to love a loser.

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 16:56:10 GMT

hw do i tell u to gt d fuck outta my life eh?!
like seriously ar dude!

decisions.. decisions.. decisions..

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 17:43:05 GMT

had an awesome time at sentosa wid d Tangs gerlz yest!
it was my dae off, as well as sarina's, so we decided to go gt sum tan
den d other 4 gerlz membontot - noor, fitriah, hamidah n zahidah
zahidah, my beloved colleague at EP, took MC jz so she cd join us yest, wen she was suppose to wk full shift
giler ar itu pompan sanggup amik MC sumer, coz she gt soooo jeles noein we're goin w/o her

so our EP counter was empty on thurs, for d 1st time. ahakz!!

den wen i came back to wk todae, ppl ard were askin.. 'eh y ur counter empty ar yest..?'
hhahahahaa!

i hvnt had dat much fun in a while, n it was a well deserved brk, 4 me, at least
we were d loudest der, laughin hysterically at each other's stoopid antics
playin our own so-called 'water sports', so mrepek bt farkin funnie!
den i was FORCED to sing for dem, coz for sum stoopid reasons dey adore my voice (ok wadever)
den ders dis part wer we took turns to tell each other our ghostly encounters
bt i decided we shd stop sumwer since sentosa is nt dat 'clean' itself

d best part is wen all 6 gerlz were standing in a str. line in d toilet, facin d mirror, n dancin to 'oye mi canto', while puttin on our make up
everybody movin to d same raggae style, it was madness!
ya i noe.. sungguh kental ppl may sae, bt i don care!
coz it was so much fun ar!

gona mit noor n sarina again tmr for flea mkt
n i will so bug zahidah to cabot again n join us (evil me)

farid wans to mit up tmr too, bt i cldnt b bothered, seriously
been wanting to mit up since tues bt i didnt layan
shd i or shd i nt mit him..........?

decisions.. decisions.. decisions..

d OC is back yawwww!!

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 16:51:21 GMT

rushed hm for d OC
n was super glad i was in time for it
aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

thurs is nw my official fav dae of d week coz of d OC
n sumhw i so luv dis particular line summer said to seth..
'it seems u alwayz wan me wen u cant hv me..'
n so in my head i continued sayin.. 'n u don wan me wen u had me..?'
aint dat funnie hw bizarrely true dat line is?

n summer n seth r soooooo engaged in real life siol.
damnit!!

anywayzzz..
iam reli hapi coz ive finally purchased my DKNY-Be Delicious perfume todae!
i freaked out wen i was told dat d 100ml dat i wanted was sold out onli aft 4 daes of d launch
all d 15000 sold out?
so i like begged d kakak to find me jz 1 more 100ml bottle, which she eventually did
it cums tgdr wid d small 10ml miniature, body lotion, a shampoo n 2 green apples (my fav fruit!)
n i gt an additional 20% off as staff purchase
sungguh seronok!

lonely

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 09:12:57 GMT

'ur my biggest problem..'

'dude.. ur my BIGGEST MISTAKE..'. HUGE. period.

'n ouh.. dis song is so.. for u.. enjoy..'

----------------------------------------------------------------

Artist : Akon

Song : Lonely

Lonely im so lonely,
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely, im mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely,

Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there man ya kno dey got that one good girl whose always been there like ya
Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave

I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was
Feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz
Ever since my girl left me, my whole life came crashin

Im so lonely (so lonely),
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuck
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, I
Really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl

Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody to call my own)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely

So lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)

Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girrll

Never thought that id be alone, I didnt think you'd be gone this long, I jus want you to call my phone, so stop playing girl and
Come on home (come on home), baby girl I didn't mean to shout, I want me and you to work it out, I never wished to ever
Hurt my baby, and its drivin me crazy cuz...

Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)

Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girll

Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, so lonely, (so lonely), Mr. Lonely

wwwweeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 18:05:49 GMT

Hapi B'dae fanabelle!!

may u stay hapi wid fafan boi n cant wait 4 d chalet dis sat!!

also belated bdae to zali, matty n fiza - on d 24th, 26th n 27th respectively.

n hapi advanced bdae to zahidah darlin' a.k.a Miss Mocha (if ur readin dis) - aper kau nk dis yr..? don sae irwan eh!! haha!

kenaper..??!!!

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 16:52:49 GMT

i was der to witness d accident dat took plc on fri aft
abt d future groom dat gt hit bt d train at Buona Vista stn
i was 1 of d passengers in dat unlucky train
n i swear i 'dah mcm trauma' nk tk train nw ok

i remembered goin to wk lookin pale
n my head was askin me stoopid qns like.. 'y cant dis happen aft dis train im in left?!'
coz seriously, doesnt he noe dat ders a train cumin wen he went down to gt his shoe?!!!
bt den again, like my mom said, dats jz an 'excuse' 4 him to die dat way, dat day

d worst ting is.. he's goin to nikah in 2 weeks time seh.....

so i ended up turnin up 4 wk late coz we're kept in d train 4 abt 15 mins
wid no air-con, thk u
den everybody started callin whoever it is dat dey wana tell dis horrified news to
i called hm, n i feel like a little gerl all over again dat nids embracing fr her mom in times like dis
den i called zahidah to punch my card 4 me, n of coz let her noe of my situasi

u'll neva noe wen accidents cn happen ar
it cn jz hit u anywer, anitime
even wen u least expect it

scary.

...n so d story goes...

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 16:24:22 GMT

so i told erd, rkl, n rye abt d 'stoopid proposal' tingy
itz fuckin embarrassing actually n i wasnt sure if i shd let any of my gerlz noe abt it coz i noe dey'll laugh at me
(bcoz itz reli mrepek lorr!)
n itz horrible wen ur frenz laughed at u abt tings
Aaaarrghh!!!

anywayzzz...
i hope ryehan will b ok soon enuff
itz reli sad to c u in dis state babe
jz remember we all cr n luv u
hang on in der

n ouh!
zali d bestfren called jz nw!
n at d same time matty msged to tanyer kabar
sungguh rindu at d 2 botakz!!

zali is sick n was complainin abt life in der
baru 2 minggu dah nk complain. haha!!
n matty mcm nk mati rindu gf, sooooo swittt
n sumhw, i gt flashback wen i was in d respective gf's position, back den
d rindu is indescribable n im nt exaggerating, at all
u'll b waitin 4 nitetime to cum coz den u'll gt to hear their voices all over again
every single dae, w/o fail, dey'll col
n don mention d book out dae, u'll so b excited dat u wldnt slip well. haha!
n sumtimes u jz miz dem so much dat u cn jz cry
ok lah, dats me, at least
yeahhh.....

zali's n matty's bdae is cumin real soon!
dey're both equally hapi dat dey'll gt to book out dis thurs so dey cn celebrate wid gfs
aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww

ok gota turn in nw
tmr full shift, again
bleargghhhhh!

ku keliru!

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 07:02:20 GMT

yest at wk..
him: 'hmm... i miz u...'
me: 'hmm.. i miz u too, bt gez wat?.................'
so i told him d news, reli glad dat i did actually
he didnt tk it too well tho
he said..'i was shocked.. jeles in a way..'
n i felt so darn gd dat i cn jz kiss myself

he said he hope i wasnt lyin
den i said..'wd i b so pathetic as to mk smtg like dis up..?'
den he went *speechless*

i told him nt to tink abt it coz itz nutin reli (n seriously, it is nutin lor!)
him: 'hw cn u sae itz nutin?! i feel smtg which im nt suppose to express to u..'
like WTF?
me: 'pls jz sae watever u wana sae. itz nt as if we hvnt noe each other oredi..'
him: 'im nt in d position to sae dis kinda stuffs to u anymore..'
me: 'watever lah eh. bye.'
him: 'col me if ur free'
me: 'tk free ar. bye!'
him: 'thanks.'

i enjoy our conversation like dis ar, don ask me y, i jz do
den later in d nite..
him: 'don nid to argue, col me..'
me: 'ouh u mean if col, ders a slimmer chance we wont b argue-in? itz ok lah eh, lets jz save ourselves d misery. gd nite..'
him: im tokin 2 u nicely seh. if u care, col k. fuck it if u don. dat simple..'

den i silent my fon n went to slip.

BOO

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 17:03:07 GMT

a chg cd reli do u gd lah, ma` fren

seriously.

robbers go to hell!! haha

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 04:38:06 GMT

im so fuckin mad ar!!

my shoe was stolen ok!
my fav new shoe i gt for wk was stolen!
fuck dat Tangs staff who did dis ar!!
kaninabuayyy!!!

my 'nice' manager gave me dis Novo shoe for wk
n i was super2 hapi coz i wanted to buy dat shoe at 1st
bt wen she told me i cn gt it for free as pt of my uniform, i was esctatic!
i wore it ONLI TWICE, den on sun, wen i go to wk, itz gone!!!!!

i had nobody to blame bt my stoopid self
kenaper lah aku bodoh pegi tinggalkn kasot baru cam gitu pat keje eh?
kenaper bodoh ayu?!!
yeahh.. all dis qns were running thr my head n i hv onli myself to blame

my dearest frenz at wk helped me search high n low for d shoe bt to no avail
den dey join me wid all d cursing.. 'biar org yg curi kasot kau tu kene langgar lori tros kodong kaki dier eh!!'
haha dats so mrepek bt it helped a bit at dat pt of time

i was such in a foul mood dat sun dat i feel goin hm
bt wid d comfort of d gerlz, i calm down a bit
Aaargghhh!! jz tinkin of it nw makes 'my blood go to my head'!
if old shoe nvm sakkk, nie new shoe sial!! wore onli 2 times!!

i cn jz go on n on abt dis coz im still pissed, seriously!!
MY FAV SHOE SIAL!
ok ayu.. 'itz jz nt meant to b urs in d 1st plz.. so gt over it!!'

on a lighter note..
met up wid Hafiz Pinholes yest aft wk
n poor him, gota listen to my whinings
bt he's a gd listener so i don mind complainin ar
he ask me to buy a new pair
tink i shd oso, coz if my manager drop by n c me w/o d shoe, she's gona flip
so nw i ended up payin for it instead.. 'MAKAN HATI' sakkk!!

AaaaarrrrgggghhhhHH bodohh!!!!

Life is BeautifuL

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 16:50:03 GMT

gt hm fr wk to b greeted wid a reli hapi hapi news
den i went to my rm n started cryin
tears of joy, dat is
im jz so overjoyed n it md me emotional
cant wait to spread d news
coz gd news r suppose to b shared, rite?

c'',)

we'll gt thr dis tgdr

Tue, 01 Mar 2005 16:31:08 GMT

JJ won d Manhunt search! woohoo!!
ok lah im a bit late
i luv JJ bt i wanted Rob to win instead, coz his spirit is stronger dan JJ's, n he looks like he wanted dis more, bt wad d heck, JJ's HOTTER!

met up wid raaks yest
i had fun, seriously
n rkl, bein rkl, tried to irritate me by sayin.. 'heii itz us again..' haha!
n onli me, will gt dat. damnit.

went to Ambrosia
had d 16 bux sheisha, yes
bt no complaints watsoever coz it was guuuuddddd
n we gt sum complimentary food fr d nice ppl der
so we made a promise to go der every week! haha

glad dat we had d tok yest kel
was shocked to hear wat u gota sae, n i reli feel u
bt watever it is u decide to do, u noe we'll all b behind u
jz stop pressurizin urself coz for goodness sake! UR ONLI 20!
n u don wana hv so many worries at 20!!

n ouh! jz to add..
Sarah Sechan went to Tangs yest! (sorie lah, bt i like her so im a bit excited!)
me n d Tangs gerlz took a pic wid her!
she was as small as me n she was so nice n funnie lah!
she was wid her baby, sooo kiut (i duno she had a baby seh)

ok im in lurve wid Peter Pan's frontman - Adil izit d name?
watever d name is lah eh
haha

dahhhhhhhhhh

i like it like dat

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 17:34:06 GMT

had onli 4 hrs of slip yest
gt hm at 4+ in d morn` fr d pit on sat
n d best ting is.. d next dae, SUN, i gota wk at 10am!!
makkkuzz! who wks on sun sakkk?!

ive neva felt dis sleepy for a long time
i cn hardly open my eyes at wk ar
n i tink itz written all over my face
coz everybody was askin.. 'ayu, didnt u gt enuff slip yest..?'
haha. jz wen i tot d make-up wd cover, a bit, at least
but no, thk u

wen to mit zali, farid, ah seng n fiza aft wk
was dead tired bt still wen on 2 mit dem coz i hvnt met dem for mths
it was a nice gt tgdr session i muz sae
stories aft stories unfold
we were laughin at zali's nonsense, as usual (n i reli nid dat btw, to kip me awake)
farid was bein his usual irritatin self, exchgin sarcastic remarks wenever i tok
n i jz gave him d 'tok-to-my-hand' tingy rite in front of his bloody face n go.. 'eh diam ar farid!'
n d rest go.. 'sudah tk payah gadoh.. tk payahhhhhh..'
haha! bt yahh overall it was fun

k nw i gota force myself to slip

dahhhhhhh

d past surfaces

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 21:23:07 GMT

iam half sad n hapi todae

gota col fr him in d afternoon, tellin me he's no longer usin his fon coz.. he was robbed. on fri. at clarke quay. apparently, he was out partyin n was dead drunk dat he fell asleep, n wen he woke up, all his shit was gone. i jz go like.. 'hah! dat feels gd to noe, padan muke kau! suker kn?!'. den he regretted tellin me coz i wasnt feelin sorie for him. bt y shd i anyway? BODOH!

we talked for a 'long' 30 mins. i was at wk n i'll b dead if im caught usin d fon. bt kau punyer pasal eh, aku sanggup cabot a while, coz he bleteh2 wen i said i cant use d fon den

we had a lot to tok abt w/n dat short pd of time. we were debating abt 'our' situation n ended up squabbling. den he still has d audacity to ask.. 'eh we're nt quarelling abt dis rite..?' BODOH!

he was askin hw am i doin? am i in luv? den i said..'even if iam, u wont b hearin it fr me..'. i jz don c d nid to tell him, esp., if iam seein anybody else. if he noes, he noes. ok yah, dats ego alrite. hah. he asked wen r we mitin up again? den i go..'u wana mit me..?'. den he said..'y nt sehh..?'. den i replied.. 'takya jumper ar. kat telipon dah sakit hati, nanti jumper lagi mkn hati..'. haha dat is so rubbish ayu

n he was tellin me hw his life was still all abt me. wid ppl everywhere still askin abt us. den i said.. 'yah, y it seems everybody noes abt us ar..? mcm besar nah hal nie seh..?'. so mrepek ar. n hw i was d topic of discussion dat pt of time btwn him n his frenz. apaper lah eh mamat

n ouh! he told me he jz gt 2 noe dis gerl. sum1 i noe too. he didnt wana tell me who she is in d 1st plc. bt i noe ways n means to mk him tell me. so he did n i was like.. 'ouhhh.. gd for u..'. den i felt dis 'tinch' in my heart. like WTF ayu?! u shldnt b feelin dis way if ur over him. so obvious iam nt completely over him, YET. which reli sucked

to summarise.. wat im sad abt is nt him gettin to noe other ppl, (coz he seriously nid too, n dis is nt ego, swear). bt him chgin back to his bad old daes, fr bad to worst. i was jz utterly disappointed to hear him drinkin, gettin drunk, n nt goin hm all. he didnt gt to do much of dat wen we were tdgr. nw dat we're apart, he's gone back to dat messed up life of his, which is reli sad to noe

ive tried chgin him to b a beta person, makin him wat i wan him to b, bt i failed. i noe love is nt abt chgin sum1, bt acceptin dem 4 who dey r bt in dis case.. wats a gerl like me to do, seriously?

i reli don give a fuck if he's out wid other gerlz coz i noe, CONFIDENTLY, dat no other gerl cn quite tahan him d way i cn n watever his intentions r for tellin me abt other gerlz, seriously wont bother me, MUCH

wat wd mk me real hapi nw is noein him happily attached, which i doubt will ever happen. coz i noe him, n i mean i noe him ar. n i cn safely sae, if he cant mk it wid me, he cant mk it wid anybody else. i realised im bein so overly confident which is nt gd bt ive neva felt so sure abt anitin dis much in my life

k nw wat makes me hapi was wen my frenz at wk gave me nice praises n sayin tings like.. 'bodoh sakk matair kau!'. k dats so dumb lah bt i feel so2 gd aft hearin all of dem sae dat coz ya i noe he is bodoh! i don nid ppl to tell me, i oredi noe he is!

iam nt sayin dat im gd. i do hv my gd n bad sides too. bt, again, confidently, i noe iam jz TOO gd for him
n i doubt.....
HE'LL EVER FIND A GERL DATS EVEN HALF AS GD AS ME

ever.

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 17:17:20 GMT

dis is my current fav song! i hv to listen to dis song every dae, a few times. i gt so pumped aft hearin it. jz tks all d troubles away. dis is so my song ar.

Since U Been Gone

by Kelly Clarkson

Here's the thing
We started out friends
It was cool, but it was all pretend
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
You dedicated, you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I picture me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you, now I get what I want
Since you been gone

How can I put it, you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
Guess you never felt that way

But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah
Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want
Since you been gone

You had your chance, you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth, I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

Since you been gone (since you been gone)
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get, I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know) that I get
I get what I want

Since you been gone
Since you been gone
Since you been gone

Life's too short to b unhappy

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 16:42:14 GMT

everybody ard me is so depressed
n seein dem all sad mks me sad too lah
-sigh-

im nt gona pretend to b hapi coz im nt
bt den again..
im nt gona b all sad coz i jz REFUSE to live my life dat way
Life is too short to b unhappy
no matter hw sick i feel, i try nt to tink abt it
coz d more i tink abt it, d more sucky i feel
i noe itz easier said dan done
bt i believe itz all up in d head
if u set ur mind into smtg u reli wana do, u cn do it
i jz hope my gerlz will hang on in der n kip ur head up
b strong.

Hapi Valentine's Day to all Lovers out der.

im luvin it!

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 17:46:22 GMT

collected my makeover photos yest at JB
i was pretty hapi at hw it turned out actually
luv d make up
nt too little or too much
itz amazing wat gd make up n lighting cn do to u
hah
luv hw i look! so im hapi!

wk has been reli tiring
bt wid d gd company of ppl at wk, life is soo less stresful
d gerlz der welcome me wid open arms, which was reli nice
n im so amazed at d huge no. of malay gerlz wkg at Tangs
a few 'setep' ones ar, 'tgk org mcm ader hutang'
bt my gerlz r d friendliest n d best bunch der, thkfully
ive learned nt 2 judge a book by itz cover
coz d gerlz all look so 'eksyen', bt dey r soooo nt
all bising2 n giler2 sot
we gt along so fine d mmt we're introduced to each other
we do evrytin together, fr sharin food to make up
we don even compete for sales, we even help each other out wid it
ive no complaints so far except for d long hrs of standing

im a rich gerl!
nw dat pay is in + ERS, ive gt sum serious shoppin to do
ive listed down wat to gt, cant wait!!
bt den again, nid to start savin for future trips to Bali wid sis n Aust-Perth wid Sahman

so he told me dat Virgin Suicides will b performin at Paradigm on Feb 19th
alongside other bands.....
n d best ting is, i'll b wkg dat particular sat
n ders no freakin way i cn tk leave coz
im onli allowed to take 2 weekends off in a mth
n ive used up both weekends oredi!!
JUST GREAT LAH EH!